First and foremost, I would like to take the opportunity and take a stance, just like Chick-Fil-A does, Eat more Chicken! Us turkey's are a proud breed of animal and we were very angry that turkey has evolved into the meat of choice at this time of year. Here are three reasons why America should have chosen another meat.
First,
THERE ARE SO MANY OTHER TYPES OF MEAT OUT THERE! Turkey takes forever to cook and we can get dry. Idk why a lot of you put us in a bag when you cook us, (P.S. there is no need to suffocate us...We are already dead). At the original thanksgiving it was said that the Pilgrims and the Native Americans ate a lot of vegetables and venison. Excellent choices! I believe there was a turkey there too, but the memory is not so clear anymore seeing how I am roughly 400 years old. I know what your thinking...How can a turkey, like myself be 392 years old? Well for starters, I don't eat turkey and secondly, I work out a lot running away from people who do try and kill me. (rough life, I know).
Why did your ancestors say, "turkey is great it would make a great Thanksgiving Holiday bird to eat." I know we are generally overpopulated in some areas, but jeez! Give us a Break!
The second reason is because,
We LOVE to watch football too! How can we watch football if we are on your table being carved up and Auntie Margaret and Little Tina are pulling each others hair out, fighting over who gets the opportunity to break the wish bone. NEWSFLASH, breaking the wishbone is not as cool as watching that dog on that old television called, "ummmmm, what was that show called?" "Come on, someone help me out here!" Cory, "The show was called, Wishbone Mr. Turkey, Wishbone." Mr. Turkey, "Ah! Yes! You see??? Much Cooler." All we want to do on Thanksgiving is watch football just like you! (Even though the Cowboys and Lions seem to always lose...(Go Patriots =) It doesn't matter, we want to be a live participants of the festivities, not lying on the table dead.
Finally,
Wait is there a third reason? Do we just hate it because we are the ones being eaten and we can't watch football? I mean us Turkey's do enjoy the holiday music that follows Thanksgiving and the pretty lights and all the festive joy in the world, but what is the point! Wait...after 392 years I think I have finally found the true meaning of being the main entree on Thanksgiving Day! There is no third reason why you should choose another bird, no, pick us! Take the Turkey! We are a delicious bird and we will serve you the best on Thanksgiving. It's not everyday that you get to be a part of a celebration that gives thanks for all we have and for who we care for and love the most in this world. Humans chose us because they care and love our meat the most! Wow, I finally see the truth to it all and it only took me 4 centuries!
On a final note, I would like to thank humans for honoring us on Thanksgiving, it's a true honor to be a part of a great celebration of giving thanks to the ones we love and the good health of all. I would be honored to be on your table this Thanksgiving season and I hope that you appreciate and give thanks that I finally figured out after nearly 400 years of running away, what Thanksgiving truly means for us turkey's. Have a great Thanksgiving break everyone and study hard at the end of the semester!
Tell me something unique you do at Thanksgiving time and have a chance to gain more Bullspride points for it! Have a great Thanksgiving break everyone and see you after! Go Bulls!
My family has a Spoons tournament on Thanksgiving. There is one less spoon on the table than there are players. Everyone has 4 cards and you pass cards in a circle. When someone gets four of a kind, they grab a spoon. Everyone else then must do the same. The game gets pretty cutthroat; we cross country girls can be ultra competitive!
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