With great athletic
talent comes great responsibility…and gear. Here are a few pointers that let
you know what your UB gear says about you and the fashion statement you deliver
with every entrance you make.
3. Oh, is that you? Rockin’ the grey sweat bottoms the third
time this week? This week!?!? No worries. Although others may look at you with
disgust, let me assure you that it is an excellent decision that all
Student-Athletes give an approving and hearty thumbs up to.
I mean lets be honest here. They
are tight enough to mask any unwanted odor after practice while simultaneously
remaining baggy enough to hide any awkward bulges from any ice packs, oh let’s
say for instance, in or around the groin or glute region. We’ve all been there.
It’s awkward and there really is no way to be casual about it. But hey, just
slip on a pair of those greys and POOF you are magically somewhat
normal looking…except for the waddle when you walk, the squeaking noise of the
ice bag and saran wrap rubbing together, and the questioning looks you receive when
the ice bag pops and it looks as though you have soiled yourself…#swag.
Strutting around in the grey sweats
more then 60% of the time demonstrates that you are a confident individual who
does not let anything phase them. Or it could also demonstrate that you are a
lazy individual who has no regard for personal hygiene. Either way, you look
great. Keep doing you baby!
3. Weight room attire…oh my oh my oh my…where do I even begin?
We all have our pet peeves especially on other team’s fashion styles. For now,
here are some personal tips so you
can stay fashionable while getting swole.
First and foremost, DO NOT wear tie-dye. Ever. What are we?
Enrolled in a middle school summer camp? Please. “Oh you play for Crayola?”…Just
don’t, you get the idea. Wear the bull and the gear provided! DO utilize fabreeze products as a
substitute for a shower/perfume if you have class in the next five minutes
following woodways. Trust me. It is the only way your classmates will accept
you. BONUS TIP: Mid-calves socks accentuate
the calves to help you look even more sexy…you sexy beast you…(insert growl). Fun fact: The mid-calves also
conveniently provide the ladies with just enough coverage so in case they
forget to shave for the past three weeks (or an entire semester), they can
still feel great doing those hang cleans. I mean honestly, who would prefer to
spend the extra ten minutes shaving their legs over sleep? Honestly? Is that
even a question? Exactly.
1. And finally, to wrap things up, when you rock the full
sweat suit (formally referenced as either
‘greys on greys on greys’ trend or even the full blown blueberry
impressionist) you are simply telling the world that on that day, you really do
not care…like literally zero point zero zero percentage of cares are given. And
with that, when you wear jeans, yes, that does in fact count as you ‘dressing
up’. And everyone should acknowledge that. Even the professor should consider
giving you extra credit for that day.
